Wednesday, October 20, 2010
(ie- since birth) and I am proud of that, though I do concede that converts have the upper hand, generally, when it comes to knowledge of the faith. The rest of us got lazy. I am always searching for God. In my children's faces, in my thoughts, in nature, and in other people's words and actions. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don't. Sometimes it seems like the harder I try and figure out what God wants from me the less I learn. He really is in the simple and the profound.
Today I am in the mountains at my parents place. It is absolutely B-E-A-U-tiful this afternoon, to quote a silly Jim Carrey character. I adore the Fall, especially up here. The kids had a Fall break so we decided to dash up here for a couple of days and I am so glad we did. I find it easy to find God in the Autumn in the mountains.
My parents blessedly allowed me to take a 20 minute walk this morning so I could get a break from the constant needs of five little people who don't sleep all that well away from home, last night being no exception. It was cool and crisp but not too chilly, the leaves are still early in their transformation but still glorious. It was the most quiet I have had in months. It was so pretty and calm that I didn't even notice the constant ringing in my ears (I have tinnitus - joy.)
As I walked up the mountain road which looked like a cover from a John Denver album, the acorns roll-crunching under my feet. I started thinking about God because its easy to do with out little people screaming for juice boxes, fruit snacks and shoes. It occurred to me that while I know logically He is there with us always whether we choose to see or acknowledge Him, I have a hard time feeling connected the way I want to. But not today, today He is right here in front of me on this road, and beside me and within me. Everyone should get the chance to feel this way. The sunlight was doing a speckled dance through the leaves that cascaded in windfalls gently to the Earth. I know this sounds very Hallmarkish and no I am not trying to win any writing awards I just want to give a true picture of what I experienced because it was so simple and profound at the same time and this is what I came up with -
God orchestrated all of this morning as he orchestrates all of nature, the universe even. Did he set up a particularly beautiful experience for me at just the moment I walked out the door? No, of course not. It's all majestic because He is the Author, the Illustrator, the Ultimate Creator or everything that has ever existed or ever will including me and the thought that brings me to my knees whenever I get too bogged down with poor little me thoughts is that in His infinite majestic act of All Creation there was minute, or a millisecond when his thoughts and attention created ME.
And He did the same for You. Pretty amazing when you think about it that way.