Just when everything is going wrong . . .

Image from The National Post

I don't do well with writing unless I have a flash of inspiration and lately they have been sparse.  Busy, sick, half crazy and irritated  these describe my current situation.  But I got one this morning and I would like to share it with you because it was simple and profound as inspirations should be. 

Let me set up the scene for you.  I have been sick for 9 days.  Really sick like WTH sick.  I have blown my nose till my brains came out which may explain the problems I am having.  My husband was sick for a month before me and as soon as he got better - wouldn't you know it . . .

MY kids are all sick.  ALL FIVE AT ONCE. On top of that my three year old may have fractured his big toe in a fall and wants to be carried everywhere.  You can imagine the wreck my house is in and the state of my fridge, laundry room and mind.  When I am not well, we just don't work, the house doesn't work.  It's all about survival of the fittest.  I have been the sickest for the past week but it looks like I am passing the torch to my oldest son today poor guy.  To him the only upside is UNLIMITED POPSICLES!!!!!!

I have been trying to breath and fight the fever and chills for days.  My solution is to take hot baths multiple times.  I can't stand the chills.  So let me get to the point.  It involves my daughter who you see pictured in the dryer below:

Yeah, she does this.  Its her new cool activity.  I especially love that she takes the time to throw all my clean clothes out on the dirty floor, sometimes she even waits until they are actually dry before she dives in.  Have you ever lost a kid in your own house?  Well after I found her here she succeeded in another recent endeavor which is climbing on top of laundry baskets trying to get the attic cord and pull down the ladder.  She got it open and tried to climb, it buckled and she fell and knocked her head on some doorway molding.  Never a dull moment here.

So all this is going on and I still feel like something you find in my backyard near my obnoxious Golden, Maggie.  I get Doodle downstairs crying (her not me, I think.) I proceed to treat the bumped head with an Elmo icepack and of course Doodle being who she is, refuses to cooperate, I stop mid-sentence when trying to explain to her that though what I am doing and what she is going through are uncomfortable and she doesn't understand it - I actually am trying to help her and it will feel better if she will cooperate!  Her brain works different than most, having autism that is. She often gets herself  into jams and dangers that a typical (Or neurotypical -NT) kid would not.  Or maybe they would? But either way, I can't explain it to her in so many words.  I just can't   So I quit talking and just yelled "TRUST ME!"  And then it hit me . . .

God does this to me all the time.

He just can't explain all of my pain or all of this world's pain in a way that my brain can comprehend.  Now by saying that I don't mean He is not capable of doing it, I mean I am not equipped to understand every situation in life especially the more complex and painful ones like why is He letting my 92 year old Granddaddy exit this world in such a slow, painful and sad way? 

Why does it seem like the world is going insane with natural disasters right now?

Why do teenagers who don't want babies seem to come by them so damn easy and others of us have to wait 3 years and endure painful tests procedures, medications and miscarriages before we get our babies? 

These are big unanswerable questions.  For now.  But I believe there is a reason. That is my Faith.  And every time I come across one of them I will have to remind myself that He is silently pleading with me.

 

              " TRUST ME!   I know what's best.  It will all work out with a purpose for the good in the end.  Even if I can't explain it to you right now in a way you can understand or even need to understand.  I love you. Chill out."

Or something to that effect :)  Spare prayers for my sick, sick family please!  Have a good day and use hand sanitizer!

Dive 7 - Bandwagons, Twilight and okra

Ha, right now you are thinking - WTH with that title?  Well I will get to it.  Is it wrong to say WTH?  I think that is less offending than WT_?  Although personally I snicker when people use that in conversation (the abbreviated form that is.)  Pop culture is a funny thing in general.

So people are either joiners, who make novels into bestsellers for instance, or non conformists who shun what's popular, right?  I can't really place myself in one category though if someone were judging me from the outside I would probably appear to be in the former category.  I mean look at what I've told you about myself so far, Harry Potter, Twilight, alternative therapies (yes ALTERNATIVE therapies are quickly becoming a bandwagon- funny oxymoron.)

Well, to start I don't have much to report about our visit to the CHAMBER today except that all I wanted to do was go to sleep (holding out on coffee before therapy!) And that is a good sign. But Pauli is getting bored and hot in the last 15 minutes which makes it hard to do so, sleep that is.  If anyone out there has any suggestions on keeping a seven year old with sensory issues entertained in a small place, let me know.  Please :)

One day I want to tell you all the amazing things Doodle is able to do and has learned to do on her own but today I wanted to mention something completely different because I am excited about this bandwagon, yes I have a point and general direction to this post!

Trends can be a good thing like people moving away from smoking, or a bad one like drug experimentation in the 60's and NO I wasn't around for that!  Some people like my cousin and my best friend are non conformist.  They aren't into Twilight (sheesh, I don't get that one at all,) and tend to think that people who do what everyone else does are yawnish.  I agree for the most part.  If everyone does the same thing how bland would the world be? 

However, sometimes the bandwagon is an great and awesome thing like the current trend toward eating healthier, local grown, organic foods.  How can that be a bad thing?  It's not.  So I was reading a post on something called CSA's last month -Community Supported Agriculture.  Where you buy a "share" in a local farm and in return you get a portion of each week's harvest.  I followed a link that was provided called localharvest.org and found a brand new CSA farm just down the road (new to CSA, the farm was very established.)  How neat!, I thought.  Maybe this will get my kids and myself to eat more fresh veggies.  They are OK about it but when I go to the store I stand there in front of the produce and have no idea what or how much to buy and tend to waste money and things rot in my produce drawer and give off a weird caustic smell before I realize I did it again.  Then it starts all over and its a vicious cycle. 

This way I know I will be getting a certain amount on a certain day each week and I just have to eat it up before the next Tuesday.  It's supposed to be enough for a family of four and with my kids being little, our seven will eat just this amount I bet.

Above is a picture of this weeks haul which costs $20.  It is supposed to be about 20% less than grocery chain prices.  Not sure, but supporting the local economy is a great thing to do in any case.  There is actually a little more than is pictured. So I have boarded this trend train for the better.  Now I have no idea how to cook Okra so if anyone has a clue please send it my way!  Talk to you tomorrow :)