Thursday, June 28, 2012

Its been a while . . .

Anniversaries, funerals, birthdays are all cause for self reflection.  There have been lots of each around here lately.  I'm not even sure where to start.  For one thing I am trying to decide the direction of this blog I have been ignoring.  I either need to abandon it and start fresh with a general direction-autism? multiples? faith?  ugg.  The problem is it started out as a sort of scrap book/ outlet for my writing and dormant humor and now it is more of a venting/ pseudo wanna be real blogger site.  I have so much to say but really not a lot of expertise in the quickly expanding mom blogger world.  I know what I like and those blogs have fantastic photography, my camera is just a small Kodak with a broken cord so it is currently out of commission and who wants to read posts without pics?  Not many people I think.  I will either continue this as a friend blog and start a new directed one or continue in my hodge podge manner.  Either way I will be writing more this year as my four year old starts his very first year of preschool. 

Yes we waited for several reasons:

1.  He is my baby and I wasn't ready.
2.  Money -unnecessary expense
3.  He is smart as a firecracker and didn't need it.
4.  He gets plenty of socializing time with siblings and gym nursery

I just know you were thinking that his lack of 3 year old preschool would damage his psychy and chances of getting into an Ivy League school in 13 years or so.  Well fear not he is going to be fine.  I always have to remind myself that it is ok to just do things differently than most people.  I mean heck we already have.  Even if ALL my quad mom friends are doing thus and so, that doesn't mean I am wrong if I don't.  Just kidding I don't have any quad mom friends.  A handful of triplets moms and twins -yes.  Quads - no.  We are the only ones in our county for sure and possibly the surrounding area as well. 

We have had a series of untimely passings of family members and friends recently and it really makes you stop and think.  I seriously will not live forever.  I mean seriously.  Each day is one less left in my life.  Am I living it intentionally?  With a direction in mind or is it a hodge podge of decisions and moments and random events not headed in any direction just like my blog has become? 

I would like to think I live intentionally, not just surviving, not just reacting but evolving and focused on a goal.  I need to think about this some more.  I want my children's lives to be intentional as well but childhood should be for growing and learning about yourself and the world and making memories to carry with you for the rest of your life.  Childhood forms a person for good or for bad, that's why its so important and I am realizing that my quads are now halfway through childhood, being 9.

(Cue scary music)

Sigh - too much for me to digest and there are no cool pics for you to look as so I will end for today.  Hope you are all having a fantastic summer.  Enjoy it, before you know it we will all be in Target shopping for school supplies again  btw - secret about that - never buy as many things as the school list asks for.  Its inflated just like everything else these days.  The years I have they always bring home tons of blank notebooks and paper that was never used.  Ciao!