Thursday, February 26, 2009

Navigating the social side of life

Here is my silly "shy" girl. Looking at this picture you can see her true personality, a total ham. She loves to sing, play dress up and give snappy eyerolling remarks reminiscent of a 13 year old (yes, that one really scares me but currently it is hilarious coming out of a 5 year olds mouth.) She is actually very shy, but I can tell kids like her and want to be friends with her. Once I was walking behind her at school and a little girl came running up and threw her arm around my daughter and said "Hey D!" They walked to class together but I caught a glimpse of my daughter and she had this look on her face like "what is going on?" She later told me, she liked this girl and wanted to be friends with her but that she didn't know what to say. The other girl, being the more outgoing of the pair, obviously wanted the same thing and took charge of the situation as that came natural to her. I have always been envious of those people. D is definitely my daughter, age has helped somewhat as has having children, but I am not a natural at social situations, it has taken careful observation and practice to feel as comfortable as I do now, which is much better than say my twenties were in that respect, but still its an ongoing struggle and has something to do with confidence and an awareness that you truly are no more or less important on this earth than anyone you may talk to (well short of the Pope, and some select world leaders I guess!)

So I really want to pass this lesson on to my children as I think my mom has done for me. She is also on the shy side but really has the best social skills as far knowing what is the best thing to do or not do in a situation "Bonnie, you need to leave the neighbors house when they start cooking supper" "People like to hear their name when you are talking to them." She is right about that one, try it. When you are talking with someone, just say their name or notice how you feel when they say yours, it makes you feel like they care. Anyway, this begs the question, how do you teach your children to navigate the social side of life? It really is that important, it is after all the way we reach out and connect with people that makes life enjoyable. We are all social creatures, even those of us who are shy. I do not consider myself shy anymore. But it took years to get to this point. I have another daughter who will never be shy and I suspect the baby will be the kind of person that people revolve around because he has that magnetic personality. Well, I started this post as an update but as is usually the case, it turned into a commentary on something totally random. More to come . . .

1 comment:

  1. She is so beautiful, B. B. B. B. :-)

    My Dad would always read the name plate and use the women's names behind the counter at Morrisons. He would say that he got more food than anyone else by doing that. ;-)

    Talk to you soon.