Navigating the social side of life

Here is my silly "shy" girl. Looking at this picture you can see her true personality, a total ham. She loves to sing, play dress up and give snappy eyerolling remarks reminiscent of a 13 year old (yes, that one really scares me but currently it is hilarious coming out of a 5 year olds mouth.) She is actually very shy, but I can tell kids like her and want to be friends with her. Once I was walking behind her at school and a little girl came running up and threw her arm around my daughter and said "Hey D!" They walked to class together but I caught a glimpse of my daughter and she had this look on her face like "what is going on?" She later told me, she liked this girl and wanted to be friends with her but that she didn't know what to say. The other girl, being the more outgoing of the pair, obviously wanted the same thing and took charge of the situation as that came natural to her. I have always been envious of those people. D is definitely my daughter, age has helped somewhat as has having children, but I am not a natural at social situations, it has taken careful observation and practice to feel as comfortable as I do now, which is much better than say my twenties were in that respect, but still its an ongoing struggle and has something to do with confidence and an awareness that you truly are no more or less important on this earth than anyone you may talk to (well short of the Pope, and some select world leaders I guess!)

So I really want to pass this lesson on to my children as I think my mom has done for me. She is also on the shy side but really has the best social skills as far knowing what is the best thing to do or not do in a situation "Bonnie, you need to leave the neighbors house when they start cooking supper" "People like to hear their name when you are talking to them." She is right about that one, try it. When you are talking with someone, just say their name or notice how you feel when they say yours, it makes you feel like they care. Anyway, this begs the question, how do you teach your children to navigate the social side of life? It really is that important, it is after all the way we reach out and connect with people that makes life enjoyable. We are all social creatures, even those of us who are shy. I do not consider myself shy anymore. But it took years to get to this point. I have another daughter who will never be shy and I suspect the baby will be the kind of person that people revolve around because he has that magnetic personality. Well, I started this post as an update but as is usually the case, it turned into a commentary on something totally random. More to come . . .

What a CRAZY week we have had!

Hi long-lost blog friends, we have had a crazy week here, or two maybe? Let me fill you in on my tuesday and then maybe a few other fun things as well -

So I have to do the usual get everyone up including the baby and get dressed, feed, water and potty them. Tie shoes, fix lunch , zip backpacks etc and buckle them in the car by 8 AM.
I nearly always end up saying something I regret, someone is in tears (often myself) or I am just fuming in general. I may be getting a better grip on this but more on that later. I only had two to drop off as my big boy had strep - yuck- so far the rest of us have faired well. I kept my first born home (first born by 30 seconds) as she had an appointment with doodles Psych. for an eval we are suspecting ADD but it has been suggested that mild autism is not out of the question - Lord why another one?) I am thinking God has decided we are handling the first one so well that he thought we could add another? SO the moral of the story is - to those who have much, more will be piled on top until you can't see light at all.
Anyway, baby J, big boy and "baby"A and myself drive 35 minutes to pick up MIL. Then we get a flat on the way. I never even felt a thing?? Luckily we were a hundred yards from a gas station and just happened to be 5 minutes from my husbands work so he came out and changed it in his nice clothes. This is a new to us car so we had to read the manual to figure out where the heck the spare was and boy was it complicated. All that extra storage comes at a price, they jimmied the spare up under the car on some kind of cable and wench system? I suspect I just lost most of you there didn't I? Me too, anyway. We drive on, not too late because, for once, I left with some time to spare, yes I know, totally not my style. The Dr basically confirms that there is indeed an issue with out daughter which I knew but still hated hearing, and how interesting is it that in this age of budget cuts Walton County is reevaluating her and "finding" that she might not qualify anymore?? They ought to be patting their teachers on the back for catching her up, not saying she doesn't need the help now because she is doing well. The fact is, she is very smart but cant focus to save a dime and once that extra help is gone she will fall behind again per teachers and therapists. The officials are saying otherwise, the ones who don't know her and administer tests. Whatever,
So while I was at the Dr, Dh calls and says the school called and said a boy in doodles class, large and mean, has pushed her off the slide a 6 foot drop and she is in the nurses office with a limp. I was too far away so he went to pick her up and she ended up being okay but I really wanted to pound that stupid kid (don't judge me for calling him stupid, if it was your kid getting shoved you would feel exactly the same) She is totally defenseless. She wouldn't know how to defend herself at all in any situation and he was twice her size. I do not care that he has a disability, I want him gone from her class. He has hit and cussed at everyone and needs to be in a psychoed center. They are having a meeting on monday and the parents do not think there is a problem. Coincidently Doodle received a huge full price valentine from this boy with his parents handwriting sending "lots of love!" Barf me out the door people. Ooh I just got a little angry there?
Okay so that was my Tuesday, she is fine though and her wonderful teacher and parapros are fiercely protective of her, especially now so hopefully that will be the end of that. My next entry will be about the healing mass and some fun stuff.

What's goin' on

To start, as I sit here and write, I hear one of my five year old walking around in the kitchen singing "womanizer, womanizer . . " that's about all she knows thank goodness. We were, gulp, listening to it on the way home from church (that's when the top 40 countdown comes on!)
So , some thoughts on this crazy week. First of all, Baby J turned ONE YEAR OLD!! I can't believe it. I really had mixed emotions about it. MY baby is not really a baby at this point, although that's only a technicality, every mom knows he will always be my baby. He is sure gettin fiesty though. HE wants what he wants, when he wants it and that's it. There is no reasoning with him, he doesn't see your point of view. I am not sure that will change even as he matures but I have learned this. Most of the annoying, stressful exasperating traits your children have area a good sign of healthy, typical development and will probably serve them well in the future, even if you are driven crazy by it presently! Stubborness, early walking, some amount of clinginess (remember, the opposite is aloofness and that's not good) Anyway, I made a resolution for February to keep my posts shorter so I will end this one and say that the next will update you all on my experience at the healing mass with Alan Ames that we took Doodle to.

My washing machine

I am not sure if this post will be funny or even interesting, but I will try my best. You see My washing machine (which is like 12 years old and has already been fixed once by my amazingly self-trained-at fixing-random-things husband,) is broken. I am sooooo coveting those snazzy-lookin' matchy matchy front loaders with the commercial looking stands. I can't really justify the purchase in this economic climate however, I promise I would- use it use it wear it out, make it work or do with out'-to quote a phrase from WWII. Wait a minute, that's what I'm doing now with the old washer and dryer (the dryer has been revamp by my handiman as well.)

See I do like 2 loads a day minimum if I want to have any kind of a weekend. Unless I am pg with morning sickness and then I don't do any until my MIL or mom comes over and feels sorry for me. But since that won't be happening anymore ... I have no excuses, I try to be a fly baby but I can only take that attitude for so long before it makes me want to hurl. But I digress, I deserve to have the proper tools to take care of my family of seven but it ain't gonna happen due to the fact that my darn husband figured out what part needed replacing. BTW - I need a new lap top too, this one is missing some keys! Also notta happenin' . I very much want to quit wanting things but I guess its human nature. I need to become a Christian Buddhist , don't they tout the philosophy that all human suffering comes from attachment to things. Well I am technically attached to the idea that my kids need to wear clothes to school that don't have old ketchup stains on them so I guess I can't be a buddhist. If there ever was a household that would use and appreciate a heavy duty washer and dryer its this one. Unless you count the family with 18 kids but they have like a laundry floor complete with closets and maybe 5 washers and dryers. So I spent 30 bucks at the laundromat last week and the stuff wasn't even dry when I got home - not DRY!! or folded (shouldn't the machines do that too?) Really cool people hang out at laundromats, like the creepy stalker looking pseudo-nerd who shouldn't have to be there as long as he is since he has to be single so he wouldn't need to do more than one load? Or the mom whose kid is running around checking ALL the machines for change AGAIN. Other good times to be had at the washateria as my mom still calls it, The wonderful fumes of Bounce, mixed with chlorine bleach and burnt dryer lint. and that nice sticky icky feeling you get when you accidently touch any surface including the change machine. I used three of the super-mega washing machines, each holds four loads and costs 5.25 per shot. I did 12 loads then and tryed to shove them into two dryers thinking I would save money? The more wet clothes the longer it takes to dry so I didn't end up saving myself any thing at all! Hmpff! I just need to take it in stride, The part should arrive tomorrow and I can go back to doing my 2-3 loads a day and eventually catch up once more. I read an article in an inspirational magazine that struck a chord and it literally said "if you have a washing machine that works- be thankful! Well I don't but I am still thankful because we have clothes to be washed and I "cant" do any washing right now so that leaves some time free to do things like dishes or post on a blog about how much I need a new washer !

All my children and my friends' too

Check out this post on my friend Lisa's blog. It has some cute pictures of our collective children.

What's your child's gift?

Here is the picture I sent in to Regis and Kelly's Beautiful Baby contest, so you can give up, no more entries are being accepted since they saw him. sorry guys (I am kidding of course, well- sort of, they are still accepting entries but its just a formality at this point!) If he gets selected, ahemm excuse me, when he gets selected I expect everyone to vote for him the week of March 9th. I mean who wouldn't want to see this face on TV and Magazines??? This was his Nana's idea but I agree with her.

I sit here on a Friday afternoon exhausted and happy too. Although doodle will not quit going through pullups and the house smells as a result! Most of you know doodle is not my baby so changing her is no fun whatsoever. (I am not sure if that is supposed to be one big word or not?) Anyway, I am happy we get to get up and watch TV in the morning but we have baseball and softball evals so we can't slug around too late. Please pray for me as I will have three playing ball and a baby plus doodle to tote to the games. Still not sure how I am going to do this but I am determined to let them play a sport this spring. I loved Soccer last year, the three were on the same co-ed team and it worked nicely with baby in a carrier. But this year he is all over the place and so unsatisfied to be stuck in a stroller. He has the most stubborn attitude any baby has ever had, I promise!

I am happy also because my big boy received a permission slip to be tested for the gifted program!! I know this has nothing to do with me or else all my kids would have gotten one but it is nice to get a happy testing in addition to the, "we aren't sure what your daughters issues are" testing notices! I am not talking about doodle their. Poor baby D she doesn't get tested for anything unless you count repeated vision and hearing tests which she did fine on after the ear infections and such cleared up.

So I want to share with you that I feel like I am living in a little science experiment on Nature Vs Nurture. I have 4 subjects with nearly identical environments and variables, same mom and dad, house, age, food, temperature, opportunities and grandparents! So it has certainly shown me that nature has a lot to do with it since I feel like I have 4 very very different kids. I do think they are all bright in their own ways, really. They are all four excellent readers, I think I may have helped with that since I love to read and like reading to them. But other than that, they each have surprising things about them that are terrific. I am sure that all kids have something special about them but I wonder how many go unnoticed because they are not considered traditional gifts? Ever notice how some kids are very intuitive and empathetic? Even as kindergartners, or a fabulous sense of humor. Creativity, memory, and a caring personality are all special gifts as well. I hope everyone will look for the gifts their children have, even if they never get invited to join the gifted program. I hope I will remember that should my son not "pass" whatever tests they put in front of him. He is already gifted to me as are the other 4, baby J's just remains to be seen!

All things random . . . and some pictures from McDonalds

I call this one "Gigantic Baby eats Local Playland" And the one above is "Silly Sisters Sliding"

I think people like to read blogs with pictures better even if the posts have nothing to do with the pictures. I also have no idea why when I loaded these it crammed them next to each other instead of letting me write between them? Oh well.

This is what we were doing on the recent school holiday. Its one of the few places we can safely go and afford! The only real problem is that Doodle likes to steal other peoples fries off their trays and she doesn't care if they are looking or if they get mad, she does it anyway. So I have to buy a giant size fry as soon as we get there and put it out for her to eat.

What thoughts do I have for all of you tonight hmm lets see :

I was recently out at Walmart and realized I looked ridiculously hideous, sweats, a baby stained shirt and old sneakers, then I looked around and well ,of course I fit in perfectly which shocked me in a new way since I don't consider myself a "Walmart shopper" even though I most certainly am! So that leads me to this - when did the girl who used to spend 1 and 1/2 hours getting ready for school turn into the woman who just uses clothing to cover her body. I mean seriously this is insane - I like clothes, cute ones but can't buy any and if I did they wouldn't be in the size I wanted and they would very shortly be destroyed by spaghetti sauce and baby puke.

Oh by the way, my neighbors I like to call Rednecks-with-money, have moved out and praise be to God they took the Yard Art with them!!!! I can't tell you how this thrills me! No more concrete deer, angels, little boy fishing on a bench, no more giant fountain or little lighthouses! Hallelujah! Of course on a sad note, who am I going to make fun of anymore?

So I was entertaining one of my kids who wanted me to sing (I don't really sing well so I don't know what possessed her to ask me) I started doing the Name Game and I thought , I wonder if people play the name game with their kids names before they write them on birth certificate? I know for a fact that this is a good idea because my dad's name is Buck, try it . . .

Ha see, not a good idea at all, don't name your kid Buck, or anything that rhymes with it.

Today I ordered a small coffee from Dunky Donuts as my kids call it, that is the smallest dang coffee I have ever seen in my life. I looked like a dixie cup. They should call it a sample.

I often have the random thought that I wonder what is going on on Mars or Jupiter right at this moment. Have you ever thought about that? It's like the old saying, If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it . . . well even though no one is there to see the weather and the scenery on said planet, its still there and its still going on, how weird is that?

Speaking of other planets, my daughter walks in the other day and (FYI she is the queen of random thoughts so I guess you see where she gets it) she says "Mom is this Earth that we're on (well it sounded more like Earf but you get the picture) "Sweetie," I said, "Mommy lives on Earth but I don't know what planet you're on." Sorry that was mean but she comes right back with "Your KIDDING, I am your kid mom!" She tends to obsess and take everything literally so I had to concede eventually.

This particular daughter loves to sing and loves Momma Mia (which I know I probably shouldn't have let her watch umpteen times but I usually FF thru the two parts that kids don't need to see) Here is her version of one ABBA song " the river takes it all, the lizard takes a fall!"

If you don't know what the real verse is, then you were probably born in the 90's and you shouldn't be reading my blog!

Okay, that is all for now but let me leave you with this one last thought -

No that's it, I don't have anymore thoughts tonight, love ya! There Katie, are you happy now??