Saturday, October 11, 2008

Watching a baby grow

I love my baby. Yes I mean I LOVE him. I love all my children of course but if you know me you know that I didn't get the luxury of falling in love with each of my children individually and yes I now know what I was missing and man its a pretty big thing. Moms of triplets and quads who don't have a singleton are always wondering what its like to be a "normal" mom with just one baby. It makes me sad for them if they don't get to experience it and it makes me sad for all the moments I lost or missed out on with each of my older babies. I missed them because I was exhausted to the point of tears. Stessed beyond belief and wondering what God was thinking when he picked me to undergo this enormous task. Yes I know that I chose to use fertility medication but its not like quads are all that common even with the medicine. God still directed the whole thing. I wouldn't change a thing unless it would help my little Pauli. (She's doing great though all things considered. Anyone who has spare prayer time please remember her and her struggles with autism.) It seems like Jack is growing at warp speed and I am always amazed when he hits another mile stone or a new month rolls around and all of a sudden now he has two teeth? He can sit up and has added some new sounds to his vocab, He is really good at Dada, yaya and aduh. No mama yet. But I just LOVE having a baby and everyone thinks I'm crazy but everything he does is a gift and I am so glad we decided to add #5 to the pack. I don't think there has ever been a happier baby. He may not be the best sleeper but he is happy almost all the time. He looks just like his daddy's baby pictures. Right now I am his first love and it breaks my heart that those days are numbered. My other kids were never particular who held them or comforted them or showed a mom/dad preference. I think that was a product of being in the NICU for five weeks and then being passed around to anyone who could help me hold them and change their diapers for the first year. They have always comforted and looked out for each other so there was little one on one time with mom. They never had separation anxiety or clung to my legs like so many toddlers. Jack is all mine though and I feel like I deserve it. He melts my heart when someone else is holding him and he cranes his neck around to find me in the room, then seeing me, cracks into the widest grin I have ever seen like he has just spotted a million dollars. What a gift. I adore that little fat munchkin and his older siblings who love him too.

1 comment:

  1. What a cutie. I feel the same way about my girlie. I cherish this time where she is always looking for me and smiles like she just saw a celebrity when she finds me. I'm sure she will be all about Daddy when she figures out how much more fun he is.

    Hope you are well. Miss you!