Tuesday, December 16, 2008

How do I do it?

People ask me this quite frequently and to be honest, I never know how to answer them, though in truth, it is probably just a rhetorical question and they are probably not really looking for an answer. But I have it for you today. That is if you are interested.
Here is how . . .
Today after baking about 200 plus chocolate chip cookies for teachers and coworkers,
today after wrestling all day with a baby who kept me up all night because he was wheezing and feverish and the Benadryl I gave him caused him to become excited instead zonked,
today after changing atleast 5 poop diapers,
and folding four loads of laundry and decorating the Christmas tree and feeding my kids frozen pizza for dinner,
I laid on the floor, on my stomach so my crawling, cruising baby wouldn't punch my stomach or fall on my other sensitive parts I started to drift off and imagine that his pushing and rolling and other movements were that of a masseuse at an expensive spa that doesn't smell like poop and cookies together. In my head I was getting a massage (something I haven't done in years.) Okay so this particular massage was from a drooling masseuse who whined a little and eventually fell asleep on my back but the best part was all I had to tip him was a couple of kisses and a zerbert on the belly. That is how I do it my friends, its all in the delusional mind games I play. The drooling masseuse has an opening tomorrow at 10 AM if anyone would like him to swing by. By the way, I don't recommend trying to give your next masseuse a belly zerbert, I hear they much prefer cash ;)


  1. You are funny, my friend. We need to schedule a REAL massage. I also have not had one in ages and am way overdue. Miss you!

  2. I get the feeling, "How do you do it?" along with "You sure have your hands full" and "I'm glad they're yours & not mine" is really asking one of the following two questions...
    1. Genuine: I'm in a similar (or, easier) situation & I'm drowning in laundry & dirty dishes and haven't showered in five days. HELP!!!
    2. Snarky: You're such an idiot for having children. You deserve all the difficulties you deal with.

    How do you think most people mean it when they ask you? I've gotten it both ways, which I find funny b/c since when is 3 kids a big family?