People ask me this quite frequently and to be honest, I never know how to answer them, though in truth, it is probably just a rhetorical question and they are probably not really looking for an answer. But I have it for you today. That is if you are interested.
Here is how . . .
Today after baking about 200 plus chocolate chip cookies for teachers and coworkers,
today after wrestling all day with a baby who kept me up all night because he was wheezing and feverish and the Benadryl I gave him caused him to become excited instead zonked,
today after changing atleast 5 poop diapers,
and folding four loads of laundry and decorating the Christmas tree and feeding my kids frozen pizza for dinner,
I laid on the floor, on my stomach so my crawling, cruising baby wouldn't punch my stomach or fall on my other sensitive parts I started to drift off and imagine that his pushing and rolling and other movements were that of a masseuse at an expensive spa that doesn't smell like poop and cookies together. In my head I was getting a massage (something I haven't done in years.) Okay so this particular massage was from a drooling masseuse who whined a little and eventually fell asleep on my back but the best part was all I had to tip him was a couple of kisses and a zerbert on the belly. That is how I do it my friends, its all in the delusional mind games I play. The drooling masseuse has an opening tomorrow at 10 AM if anyone would like him to swing by. By the way, I don't recommend trying to give your next masseuse a belly zerbert, I hear they much prefer cash ;)